Socially Inept Communication
submitted by: H. Roice Nelson, Jr.
40.567365, -105.068964
I wrote this when I was 66 and still socially inept. I recall eating dinner at Melanie's and Jared's and this was pointed out when Melanie corrected her kids for licking their plate and they said, "But Grandpa does!" I too often offend those I love, and too often do not interact around others in socially acceptable ways. Sad part is I also don't recognize my errors. It never has been and never is my intention to offend.
I remember my sister's comments after watching Dad and I load the pickup in Ft. Collins after Marti and I got married. Aunt Sara (Sara Penny) said she watched us work very efficiently for 20 minutes, and during the entire time we only said half a dozen words. There was pointing, grunts, and not words. Her interpretation was Dad and I had worked together so long on the farm, the communication was by gesture or a look or a grunt. While there were great benefits growing up on a farm and learning to work, there are issues associated with never playing sports nor being in the High School Band nor learning to interact appropriately socially.
I recognize my communication skills are lacking. I will probably not include things important to you. This is one of the nice things to come from writing a personal history before I can't function well. You can tell me stories I've missed, and I can add them to my master database and possibly future editions. Probably some of my communication skill lack is related to my family of origin. Dad never talked on the phone. He was always there listening when I called home each Sunday night. A learned behavior? Grandma Hafen appreciated my Sunday night calls, and yet she often chastised me for multiprocessing with something else when I called her. It was obvious to her I was not paying sufficient attention. As President Benson said regarding prayer, "Any of us would become offended if a friend said the same words to us each day, treated the conversation as a chore, and could hardly wait to finish in order to turn on the television set and forget us." (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, Ezra Taft Benson, 2014, page 52.)