Nature and Taking a Leak
submitted by: H. Roice Nelson, Jr.
-95.7096222 29.7766710 1990
One of the problems with getting old is when I stop running I have to go to the bathroom. Being a farm boy, and since there wasn't a toilet out on the farm, I learned to just find a tree and take care of business. Especially when it is dark and I think I am alone. I remember once early in my mission taking the train from Canterbury out to Aylesham to see an investigator, Sister Kirkham. As we started the half a mile walk to her house I needed to go really bad. I remember the shock of my proper English missionary companion at seeing the meadow being watered. Oh well!
On a Friday morning in 1999 one of those experiences which will probably be remembered through the millennium happened (and yes I realize it would just be forgotten, if I didn't write it down). Hopefully it will be the only time I will be flagged down by a policeman with flashing lights when I am out running. My son Paul was a little slower getting up, and I read the paper and the comics before we left. We ran and didn't talk much. I got tired and started walking when we got to the Forest Green subdivision. There was a policeman sitting there watching for speeding cars. I waved to him and he waved to me. As I went around a little bend and I could see he could no longer see me, I looked ahead as well as I could through the bushes, thought I saw Paul running away from me, stepped into the bushes next to the wall, and proceeded to relieve myself. No sooner had I started than I realized it was not Paul running away from me, but two women walking in my direction. I didn't want to say anything to bring attention to myself, and by the time I stopped and closed up shop they were adjacent to me. As I turned around they saw the bushes move, and started to scream and run. I didn't want to chase after them and try to explain myself, and so I just started on down the trail towards the house. There was a kid ahead of me, he saw me jogging, and he started running. So I stopped and walked. Eventually the policeman drove down Kingsland with flashing lights and stopped me. As he stuck his head out of the door I said: `I'm sorry, I just had to take a leak.' He said, `I thought it was something like that, but you sure scared those two women.' I said `I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Do you want my name and address?' He said sure, told me that was all he needed, and drove off to explain what happened to the two women. It is interesting how our fears can drive us to make irrelevant conclusions and create a hullabaloo over nothing.
As I walked the rest of the way back to the house I imagined headlines on The Katy Times: `Mormon High Priest Assistant Group Leader Arrested For Indecent Exposure.' Paul didn't know about the excitement. I considered keeping it a secret, and there are probably several of you who wished I would have. Oh well!
http://www.walden3d.com/thoughtlets/1999/9903.html