Humorous After Hours at Ubon
submitted by: Alva Leon Matheson
There were four or five guys demonstrating breaking boards with feet, smashing cinderblocks with sledge hammers on chests, etc, etc. They finally got to the breaking bricks with the hands part.
“Hey,” said I to all those present, “I can do that” (the wonders of jungle juice never cease to amaze me!).
I proceeded to the stage, placed a large brick between two others and went into the usual concentration routine. After a couple of slow-motion FAC judo chops, I let out a large scream and, amazing myself, and all present, proceeded to break the brick!
The assembled FACs went wild. The chant went out from the FACs to the F-4 weenies to, “Bring-up your champion.”
The martial arts guys were whoopin-it-up and slapping me on the back, my boss Commando Clean (Lieutenant Colonel Howie Pierson, Nail- 01) was beaming from ear to ear and the FACs were going crazy! Not one of the F-4 pukes assembled answered the call – must have been common sense or the lack of liquid courage on their part.
I’ll never forget that night when the FACs again demonstrated to the fighter pilot weenies who had the “balls of brass!”
Dale Hill, Nail 49, a spectator that night in the Ubon Club recalls....
I recall a certain night at the Ubon club when you set out to do just that. The Thais had some martial arts thingy they were doing for entertainment and after hoisting a few brews, you declared that you could bust a brick with your bare paw. This caused a great deal of merriment and doubt so the wagers were placed that you, 1) wouldn’t go through with it or, 2) you couldn’t do it as the brick would prevail. There didn’t seem to be many who were pulling for you, seems the brick had more supporters in the audience.
Well, after an appropriate build-up to include a few more stiff drinks for either strength or courage (I’ll let the reader decide) and so preliminary posturing, which the Thais thought was something along the lines of PT Barnum, you struck... and...the brick actually lost! It was broken into several large and many small pieces!
We were all duly impressed, but then we noted that the brick had exacted its revenge, having the last laugh. Seems you had failed to remove your wrist watch and although your hand survived the impact with said brick, your watch didn’t. Seems you had “over-g’d” the watch band and the watch failed to pull out of the subsequent dive in time to avoid impacting said brick. In fact, your watch was scattered across the barroom floor in many more pieces than was the hapless brick!
As I remember, we rounded up all the watch pieces we could find and gave them to you along with the wagers that had been made as they became an “R2 watch-relief fund.” After all, we knew that you needed to be “On-time” for your next takeoff or your next appointment at the local steam and cream.
See, your Buds did actually care for you!
The importance of finding the watch pieces was due to the fact it was a AF issue watch and I needed to get the parts back to the 538 section to get issued a new watch or be kacked and charged for same.
I never did buy a watch other than the issue model until I bought a Casio at Matsuda’s outside the gate at Yokota for $29.95. It had the one feature that I liked as to local time, time back at my hooch in CA and zulu time to try and figure out what the ops launch schedule for missions, etc.
It did say “300 meters” on the face – I took it into the shower once and it fogged-up. I took it back to Matsuda’s the next TDY and told him I wanted it replaced with a new one. He asked what happened and I told him – he then said “ watch say 300 meters, not shower”.
I had to buy a new watch!!!